Whispers of Fall are in the air and I’m one week away from my due date. I’m officially on maternity leave as of today and feelings of joy, hope, and maybe a little anxiety fill my heart about the next 12 weeks off of work. I feel like my whole adult life has been leading to this point and a sense of peace has washed over me. When I was younger I definitely knew I wanted kids but then after my husband and I got married, we spent most of the time wondering if that was something we actually wanted. Finally deciding to expand our little family was a spontaneous decision that we both felt deeply last Fall when we decided to start trying. And now I feel like I was made specifically for this time in my life as this new adventure begins.
I do not exaggerate when I say pregnancy has been simultaneously one of the hardest yet joyous phases I have ever experienced. Joyful because I’ve experienced one of the most mysterious and miraculous designs of God. I can feel nothing but tenderness knowing that I have a husband whose strength has been exhibited day after day taking care of me and knowing he will do the same for our son, Judah. Honored that I get to carry the son of the man that I love so deeply and teach him to love and serve the God who has blessed our family so much. And although (and thankfully) I have a healthy baby boy growing inside of me, I’m realizing the sacrifice that a woman makes for her child right from the very start. The feats that a woman’s body experiences during those 40 weeks are nothing short of wonderous, but at the same time the physical cost for that can be wicked. I try not to focus on the negative and I’ve definitely learned that comfort can’t always be the main goal in life. Sometimes you just have to accept those periods and be more conscious of searching out moments of gratitude and hope.
I know each phase of motherhood comes with its trials and mountain top experiences and I’m eager for the next, when I’ll finally be holding the little man in my arms.
