Lately, I have been acutely aware that my nature is constantly attempting to evade God.
I guess that is the point of fallen humanity. This nature is an ever present hum deep within that we often fall into rhythm with, unaware, until an explosion grabs our attention, and we are left asking, "What in the world just happened?!"
We set ourselves up with this false notion that we are good, and therefore deserve to be in God's presence, so we self righteously fake ourselves into believing that we are being vessels of God and lighting the world... When really all it would take is a gentle breeze to blow out such a feeble flame.
God cares too deeply about us, to just let us be. He is polishing our mirror until what He sees reflecting back is the very image of Him. That is a painful process. God is holy and righteous and because of our sin, we don't deserve to be in His presence.
On a foundational level, we understand that Jesus and His sacrifice are what makes us clean, but we often don't care to go further than that. We can't truly claim to believe in something if it doesn't spur us into acting differently.
Often times we are unaware of the unhealthy things that we harbor deep within us. That is until we try to be good, clumsily reaching to obey His voice.
The past few weeks I have attempted to hold the following spiritual disciplines out in front of me-
1) Be slow to anger
2) Love people above aspirations
They seem simple in concept, but man are they are hard in reality.
I can pat myself on the back for being "patient" until the moment my husband's sharp wit challenges me on something and I begin to get loud and snippy in my reply.
I can say my son gets first priority until he decides to go on a nap strike and my afternoon "me time" plans are ruined, spending the rest of my time with him before dinner pouting.
To think that we are "all right" where we are with God is begging for a very rude awakening.
Won't you pray with me, seeking His presence, being all the more intentional that His voice is above all else?